Depending on our Higher Power
recovering addicts, we find that we are still dependent, but our
dependence has shifted from the things around us to a loving God and the
inner strength we get in our relationship with Him.”
Basic Text, pp.
many addicts, rebelliousness is second nature.
We didn’t want to depend on anyone or anything, and especially
not on God. The beauty of
using, we thought, was that it gave us the power to be and feel anything
we wanted, all by ourselves. But
the price we paid for this illusory freedom was a dependence beyond our
worst nightmares. Rather than freeing us, using enslaved us.
we came to Narcotics Anonymous, we learned that dependence on God didn’t
have to mean what we may have thought it meant.
Yes, if we wanted to be restored to sanity, we would need to tap
“a Power greater than ourselves.”
However, we could choose our own concept of this Higher Power—we
could even make one up. Dependence
on a Higher Power would not limit us, we discovered; it would free us.
Power we find in recovery is the power we lacked on our own.
It is the love we were afraid to depend on others for.
It is the sense of personal direction we never had, the guidance we
couldn’t humble ourselves to ask for or trust others to give.
It is all these things, and it is our own.
Today, we are grateful to have a Higher Power to depend on.
Just for today: I will depend on the love and inner strength I draw from the God of my own understanding.